Book reviews

Milking that shit like a zombie cow addicted to lead and ink. 

Tomorrow I will be doing a little book review session. 

Two different authors will be features in this list. Both paranormal writers who don’t know when to quite, plus an honorable mention. 

This ought to be fun. 

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The Tape: Unheard Lyrics Are The Loudest, Side A

I love the way you scream.  How your blood seeps into my skin. I truly hope that this moment never ends. Can you see how this may excite me? How this has been a dream come true? 

I bet you are scared aren’t you? Don’t lie now, I can see the fear in your eyes. Want me to tell you a story? About how I got I got these scars in my wrist? About how, for awhile, I couldn’t think past the bullet jn my head. I can tell it to you darling.  Let you see the true me. Just know though, I am telling you this cause you will never have the chance to tell anyone else. Cause I am going to kill you. Oh no don’t shake your head and cry more. You knew this was going to happen. You knew that this was result of your very own actions. 

Where to begin…

Oh yes…

See, my name is Hannah.

….to be continued…

Murder, She wrote

I often find myself reading psychological books where people are forced to face some past demon. Maybe they were abused growing up or they witnessed something they shouldn’t have. Maybe they had a moment of weakness and it cost someone their life. I love this type of stories because they can bring me comfort or even force me to see things. When I see them I also get to read about how people overcame these obstacles and found something close to happiness.

Funny thing is that sometimes the main character may have to go seek professional help. They are diagnosed and if you, like me, love looking up mental illness, you can sometimes can an “Ah yep understandable” moment.

I recently had one where a man was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.  In the story I read he was hurt as a child by his father and also watched as his father killed another little boy. His life was full of abuse even as he reached adulthood yet his quirks seemed so familiar to me. They were much like my own that before I even got to the chapter where he was diagnosed I started to question things.

He has this urge to paint, to tell his story. To finally undo this lie he was forced to keep. If he didn’t paint he would basically escape into himself and a ‘monster’ would take over. When that happened people were hurt bad.

The story was pretty much talking about his journey with overcoming it all and being able to love someone.  This was a psychological romance (m/m cause a duh) that left me crying.

It touched on things I have never even told my therapist for fear they would find me an unfit parent. How there are times when I feel like someone is watching me. They are so very angry. I know exactly who they are but I can’t tell anyone. Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night I can hear them talking (it is usually only one…or at least it has been since my daughter was born)

I know who she is and I know that with time I won’t feel her presence anymore.

I don’t know why it took a fictional book to help me realize that what I am going through is normal. I am pretty sure most would question my already fading sanity levels if I had told them.

But it is true. This book helped me a lot. I will probably never be as brave as this fictional character.  I will probably never have the type of love that they received either. Nor will I get the kind of support and dedication that I need to make it through this life as they did. I am not alone though.

Reading has always been something that saved me. I could focus on someone elses trouble for a while. My life isn’t perfect at all but it is my life. It may not make sense to believe this book helped me despite me writing as though I am helpless towards my future. I mean I do not think I have a future but this book did help me. I am not alone in what I feel.

My life isn’t some written fiction someone made up. I may not have the perfect ending to it but it is mine. In time my thoughts could change. But just knowing that I am not alone brings me a world of comfort.
There she follows

To and fro

A little girl I forget to know

Shackled to a hurtful past

She haunt my conscience so the pain will last

I regret the cause that brought her near

Regret the dreams I have grown to fear

The little girl who cases

To and fro

The little girl who won’t leave me alone

So I write her story

I write her song

I write all the way I have done her wrong

So that she may go to sleep another day

Until she is once again ready to play

*****************************************

The book that made me feel this way can be found here (via author website. She has a lot of other books that deal with some tough issues)

Or directly on amazon here

She is an amazing writer so check her out if you like m/m novels.

Sassy people doing normal things

 

Every last single female needs to get their heads out of their ass. Men are not mind readers, sure, but yet they all expected them to be. There wasn’t much chemistry in these story. While they were all full length they didn’t read as one. Things happened, people got into fights. The end.
It was cut and paste for each story. All the girls meet their guys earlier in life. They are all best friends and drooling over one of the friends brothers. While “researching” for….something…they each get pounced by the brother the desired and things pick up from there in a domino effect. Even though everything happened at the same time these girls are not all truly vying for the guys attention until after a friend has gotten her happy ever after (?).

During this all the guys are running around like beheaded chickens trying to get them to love them. Funny because every one of these ladies goes on and on about how the Wolfe men are protective of their ladies but as soon as the men to prove it, they suddenly think the worst of the guys.

So after a wonderful (?) Smexy scene in  the woods each girl gets her chance to run from the guy she loves due to something in her past. Every last single one of these ladies has neglectful parents.

As they work ( really never is ever truly solved just glossed over or forgotten) through their emotional baggage things happen.  What sort of things you ask! Unimportant things. Things that are supposed to be the story but ends up not being the case.
The best part about this series is how the guys say they are going to protect the ladies, but in reality they are never there when they need them most.
This is porno ex machina.
Okies ranting over and let me go into a bit more detail on this.

In Sassy Mates book 1 Scent of a mate we meet Jordan and Aric.

Jordan is a human with a troubled past of bullying and an Alcoholic family that never loved her. She befriends a young wolf shifter named Ellie while in school.  Over the years she comes to be apart of Ellie’s family and the two befriend two other girls, Karla and Emma.

Each of these friends is, respectively,  a mate to each of Ellie’s four ( convenient right! ) brothers. One of the brothers being Aric.

That’s all you really need to know to be honest. Because that is all there freaking is to this book. Aric is a Wolfe (get it…cause he is a wolf shifter so his last name Wolfe).

During a shifter ceremony to encourage mating Aric and Jordan mate, like mate mate. She has had the hugest crush on him since she was 13 and he was 18. He knew she was her mate since the first met. When she was 13 and he was 18. Of course they didn’t do anything but were instead forced to hold down their emotions and move on with life. Years later they mate. There is no warning he just comes up behind her, sniffs her, and proceeds to bump sandwiches with her.

Wrapping his salami stick with her cheese cake until salsa is made…

After this is said and done she runs away and basically refuses to talk to him for a bit. Pretty much ignores him due to her trust issues. Now as I stated before, her and every other female talk about how protective these guys are yet will go out of their way to make it impossible for them to be together. It goes way past “Give her time to heal” and into “Just find someone else already”!!! Like I understand the first few times of rejecting this guy but then it got ridiculous and took away from the main part of the story…whatever that was.

She nearly dies a few times and he has to save her right as soon as she is ok. Seriously he comes it once the fight is nearly over just to take her to safety or get all alpha cause he wasn’t there.

Oh and yea by the way he finally got her to talk to him was by sneaking into her house at night, waking her up, having sex with her….mmmmm romantic.

It ends on …I guess a happy ending. See even with her being in the other books you can’t tell that they are in love. They are barely in the same room with each. When they are she is either covered in blood or just not talking. So….maybe happy ending.
Not going to bother telling about the other stories. Just copy and pasted work.

Girls comes from bad home, woods sex, ignore guy, guy sneaks somewhere to bone girl, girl gets hurt, guy tries to save day, girl ends up saving day, misunderstanding is misunderstanding, happy maybe after with no explanation as to what happened to the original story.

Ever watch those cliché porno with the plumber and the house mom. These stories are the demented offspring of those porno films.

Milly Taiden (Her personal website)

Book Page (on her page)

Amazon (to check out book yourself)

Her Amazon Page

Being me

Who am I?

What am I?

Stuck between worlds, it is easy to get lost; to forget oneself. To wonder hopelessly in a void wishing for just a tiny bit of light. A guide to show the path we are supposed to be on. Just…something stating that everything is ok…or will be anyways.

              “If you don’t break up with him, I will haunt you. I will not go away, and I will not give up. I will do everything in my power to ruin your life. I will tell your secret to everyone you meet. I will tell it to your bosses, your co-workers, and your friends. I will find everyone in your life, old friends and family, and tell them about you and where to find you. I will find hate groups and tell them how to find you. I will follow you, and I will do anything I can think of to ruin your life. I will set you up for shoplifting and assault. I’ll cut the break lines in your car. I’ll set up accidents involving the people you care about.”….

….“So what do you say?
-Excerpt from “Trans Shift: What Lies Beneath”, By Noah Harris

What do you say?

What do you say when someone forces your hand.  When someone tries to choose your life for you. Threatens everything in your life and what you stand for.  For their own selfish reasons and  desires, they won’t let you be.

What do you do when your back is against the wall?

Will you run and hide or will you stand and fight back against those who try to oppress you?

There are so many people in this world who go through this. Who suffer in this way. Forced to listen to those words and abide by them in fear that someone will follow through with it. They hide from themselves in others. Living in fear…in darkness surrounded by no one but those will never know the full truth.

Those who choose to fight sometimes fall. They are the ones with the most scars. They are the ones who tell the stories of lost loves. Of lost souls who were taken to soon.

A few are able survive with light in their eyes. A little more are able to stand side by side with those they thought would hate them. Still to many suffer. To many are forgotten. To many will never know if it truly gets better with time.
———-now for the show———

Noah Harris has delivered something interesting today. He showed us just how fucked up life can be. He showed just how human even the worst monster can seem. In this story I hated and I loved. John pissed me off at times but I knew why, I understood why he did and said the things he did. Even if he angered me I couldn’t really blame him. He was the hugest hypocrite, jumping to conclusions,but I understood. John was hiding, he was always hiding. He was so used to hiding that when it was time to tell the truth it was difficult. John wasn’t always John and it hurt.

Being transgender is not a choice. It is not a fashion statement. It is not a medal given to the edgiest person. It is a life full of happiness and pain. Of standing in the mirror and wondering if it is worth it. A life of fake smile and lifeless laughs.  Of constantly looking over your back and wondering if this will be the day when they have finally have had enough. If this outfit, or this color, or this word, or place, or this… or this… If this will be where I say my final goodbyes to the things I loved.
*********

Tyler was pathetic at times. He couldn’t see what was right in front of his face. It drove me insane to read as he ignored all the signs that told him the truth about John. Tyler is a werewolf and should have been able to see it all. A blood thirty werewolf who would have killed to protect the one he loved. See Tyler always knew love. He hides a part of himself but was allowed freedom. He escaped with minimal scars when others had been driven out. He pissed me off so much as well but the thing about Tyler is his trust. He knew what the world had in store for him. He knew hate and conquered it before it ever came his way. He didn’t have fear in his heart. He wasn’t the monster most people thought it could be. He is a protector.

No one chooses to be gay. Being gay means potentially being alone. It means hiding and lying. It means being unable to trust those closest to you. It means being scared; racing hearts and sweating palms where ever someone gets close. Being gay is not a label to be won. It is not a game played in the dark. Being gay is hearts breaking and looks of disappointment. It’s an understanding that even those who are ok can one day use it against you. It’s an understanding that those who hate you will never let you live it down. Being gay is not a choice…it was never a choice. It’s fighting everyday just for another day to be free.

***********

–  –   –   –  –   – Bring it home   –   –   –   –  –

Trans shift shows deep emotion from two guys who fall in love. It is a romance but the erotic sex scenes are not really there. To be honest the relationship isn’t really there as well. While I do feel the love between John and Tyler, I felt like it wasn’t the main focus. The focus seemed to be more of the drama of John coming out. The book was basically leading to him coming out and the close calls that came with it.

The coming out scene was a bit dryer than I thought it would be due to how John reacted to finding out Tyler as a werewolf. I think without the supernatural element I may not actually liked John at all. I understood why he hide his past but the way he acted just made him seem like the biggest shit-head in the world. Honestly I would not have batted an eye if Tyler had Bitch slapped the shit out of John when he found out his secret. I think I would have ended it there. Sadly I understand it and Mr.Harris just loves to throw some reality into his stories. While some people would have left there are those who would not have. This point went to show that they were actually deeply and truly in love. Yes most people would have said duces be gone but he cherished him and knew that it was worth it. Still…bitch slapping is in season so luckily it can be saved for the side characters.

DIE BECKY DIE, DIE AND NEVER COME BACK YOU CUM GUZZLING SAUSAGE LICKING SHIT INFESTED UNWANTED DIGESTED PIECE OF HORSE GLITTERED COVERED KIDNEY STONE!

……

Moving on

…….

I hate Becky.  I think what makes this story truly shine is her though. She would do anything to get what she wanted. She will hurt others and force them to live how she wants them to. She doesn’t love and I don’t think her capable of it. I could go on and on about how she may have been groomed to be this way but whatever, she’s a Bitch end of story.

She is the embodiment of those who hate people who are LGBT. Her, along with Michael (may ye rest in Satan’s rust covered well used porta-potty) , are what stands against those who are LGBT. Their words and ideas are real. It’s sickening to think about.

Yes this is a work of fiction but it has many truths to it. Maybe I over analyzed this but it’s how I feel. Now..its well passed my bed time and I need sleep. Think you Noah Harris for making me miss my bedtime once again. Goodnight and sleep tight.


Authors Direct Webpage. Just in case you are like me and like to stal..I mean follow those few writers I adore

Goodreads Profile. If you have a good read account check him out in there as well. They have some cool quizzes and sometimes have freebies. Good luck getting one.

Amazon book Profile If you want to read the book.

Dear Noah, it’s me… Jessi

   To say that I love reading is an understatement.  No reading is life. It’s something that brings me joy; allowing me to escape to lands I can only see in my dreams.

      Today a book was released that I think will give me the best of dreams. It will make me view reality with new eyes. Allowing me to be anyone or anything I want. A fair maiden, a quick pirate, a shy werewolves, an elusive spirit. I have the power to change lives for the best…or for the worst if need be. 

I have a power thanks to others. A power to create worlds through their words. Someday I may even be able to help someone else in this way. 

 
    The story I am going to read is by a man named Noah Harris. He is a passionate independent author who makes the most interesting stories. He is also someone who I have had the pleasure of being acquainted with. His personality sweet and spicy just like his writing style. Many of his books hold a special place in my heart because of how original they are. Like all romance writer, he has his cliches, but he does his best. 

  My favorite being his HvZ series. Yes it’s one of those meet and fuck novels but what makes it different is that it’s sports related. Now I know what you are thinking, sports isn’t all that new, but here’s the kicker. It’s a sport that is mainly played in college and it the equivalent of freeze tag. Sounds boring until you throw zombies in the mix. Not real zombies of course but pretend. It’s a game I remember being wildly popular while I was in school. It has a supernatural element but it is isnt overbearing. Which is funny since the book is about some werewolves. Wolves in college playing zombie tag lol. 

It brought a smile to my face because I remembered something so fun. His stories are wonderful because he brings so much of himself to the table. 

  Not to say he is the best I ever read, but he is pretty close when it comes to m/m. Oh yes he writes m/m books and I love them. 

I have a deep love for books of all flavors. 

  His newest book is one i haven’t read but I am proud of because of the subject manner. 

Looking through Amazon and the libraries, I found that there are not many books about those who are transgender, especially when looking for something dealing with the supernatural. 

I am happy that he has decided to write something like this. It can be risky because it is easy to offend people. Not just those who are transgender but those who are not as well. Those who may not agree with them could be offended. A writer could lose fans even those who do read m/m books. So much could go wrong with it but it is a wonderful risk to take. Not only thay but this is his first full length book!!

 So subject matter aside I am excited as all get out. 

Once I get done I will write a review on it. I hope to have this be the first of many. 

Don’t call me shorty!

  Ok so this is a strange thing to dislike when it comes to most indi writers but…I freaking HATE short novels.
I hate having to read one complete book that has been turned into four or five different books. All with their very own cliffhanger.
That is not fun at all.
Now I don’t mind short stories. I mean it doesn’t take long to tell a story. Some of my favorite authors are capable of doing just that.
Taking a story and completing it in a few hundred pages. That is the joy of kindle books. I would never buy a book only 100 pages long from the store but I don’t mind getting it from Amazon or something. That being said, if you are going to create a series, don’t do it in the form of just breaking up one book.
Sorry but I am not wasting money on wishes and dreams.
You gotta earn my love yo.

That doesn’t mean I will not attempt to read it or even view it. Just be prepared for one pissed off reading if it ends suddenly.