I called a duck by it’s name… it bit me

She called me whimsical. 

How quaint the word

Flows from the tongue as a playful verb

Haha no, it’s an adjective as google says

Had to look up the word cause my head wasn’t on straight.

Lyrically speaking I was blinded by fate

Texting a friend who was suppose to guess my name

Yet she caught on to my simple game

Cause apparently I speak in an amusing way.

I can’t but to give a little chuckle.

A cutesy little smile

How did she guess all this when we hadn’t been talking but a while.

She guessed my personality with some simple words.

Learned all I am because I speak in a verse

A poet I may be

A tiny bit insane

Mainly cause musical words make up 90% of my brain

Yet she knew. 

Despite all the friends to be had she know

I can not say if I am glad to be discovered so soon. 

A/N

Dedicated to all the Ambers of this world. You all are way to smart for your own good. Let us sly foxes and grinning cats have some fun every once in awhile ok. 

Long distance means nothing to me. 

When I was a child, I had a friend who lived in China.  I am not exactly sure what made us start being friends. I just know that nearly everyday I would try my hardest to stay up so that we could talk. With me being in America and 15, this was not always an easy feat. Still I considered this young man to be my brother. 

He was the kindest person I knew at the time. Even though we could only talk maybe 30 mins or so I still looked forward to our talks. 

Eventually I lost contact with him. I do not know the reason or even when we stopped talking, just that we did. 

I still think of him. He helped me through so much in life. 

I can only hope that he knows I still love him. He was the brother I did not get to keep. 

I love him so much. 

And miss him all the more.

Let’s go HOME

Please…

Smile for me…

Please, just one last time Smile For Me!!!

Please~

Oh God I can’t do this anymore

Can’t be this alone

Always by my side

Why did you have to die

Please wake up 

Oh Please wake up

All my sins

I will give them up. 

Alone I stood or so I thought

When all along 

beside me you faught

You saved my life a time or two

Always was there

Why didn’t I know!!

Why didn’t I care

Just please oh please don’t leave me here

My best friend

My very best friend

Always with me…please don’t let this be the end

I love you and I am sorry so please

Wake up 

Oh Lord please wake up

Please don’t leave me to grieve. 

Tokyo Ghoul anime

Forgive me, don’t forget me

image

Photo from the Video Winter Song by Sarah and Ingrid.

I had a friend, a wonderful friend. One who I did so much with. We lived together for awhile. But I got sick..mentally sick. I tried to kill myself. I tried to make her hate me by having her save me. I put to much pressure on her. I expected her to heal me when she had her on stuff going on.

I just wanted to die so bad.

I was never in the right state of mind. When we met I was contemplating the best way to do “IT”
After a few years she stopped talking to me suddenly.

It was random. I remember that last message I sent her was asking for her to forgive me. I had funny done it. I had finally cut my wrist. It wasn’t deep  enough though. It was to shallow. I survived. To much of a coward to try again once I was free from the hospital. The damage was done though.
She was gone.
I have spoken to her twice since then. Went to visit her. So much had changed when I had not.
I talked to her one more time before she decided enough was enough.
She hates me now.
Not as much as I hate myself.

I can’t forgive myself for what happened.
In the end I am not mad at her anymore. I have forgiven her for not being strong enough to tell me to stop. That I was going to far. I forgive her for ignoring me. I haven’t forgiven myself for hurting her. I wish she would forgive me as well.

She probably never will.
I will probably never have my best friend back.