Tomorrow

Today I do not really feel good. My depression is getting to me. I can not leave my house unless someone actually makes me leave. I can’t say no to invite no matter how much I want to.

I sit and struggle to stay awake. Sleeping forever seems like such a good idea right now.

I get so frustrated….so angry with just about everything.

My daughter was singing today and it felt as though she was scrapping her nails against a chalkboard. Not to say she couldn’t sing but the sound. The fact that she was happy and singing made me so mad. I had to leave the room. I apologized for telling her to stop. No! Not telling, I freaking yelled for her to stop.

She got so upset so I apologized, but the anger was still there.

I had to leave the room for a bit. I didn’t go back for maybe 30 mins or more. Just hid in my room and cried.

I am doing this all on my own. I have friends but I can’t feel it. Like there is a void that is stopping me from accepting the fact that people…Care

It hurts. I know that it is there and it hurts. I hate myself for feeling this way, but who can I talk to? I feel as though I am being judged all the time. So who can I talk to? Who can really help me understand that things are not what they seem.

My?

Maybe…

Honestly I am just going through the motions.

Wading through this until it ends. That is all I can do. So I do it.

I am ever grateful for the people who put up with me regardless.

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I called a duck by it’s name… it bit me

She called me whimsical. 

How quaint the word

Flows from the tongue as a playful verb

Haha no, it’s an adjective as google says

Had to look up the word cause my head wasn’t on straight.

Lyrically speaking I was blinded by fate

Texting a friend who was suppose to guess my name

Yet she caught on to my simple game

Cause apparently I speak in an amusing way.

I can’t but to give a little chuckle.

A cutesy little smile

How did she guess all this when we hadn’t been talking but a while.

She guessed my personality with some simple words.

Learned all I am because I speak in a verse

A poet I may be

A tiny bit insane

Mainly cause musical words make up 90% of my brain

Yet she knew. 

Despite all the friends to be had she know

I can not say if I am glad to be discovered so soon. 

A/N

Dedicated to all the Ambers of this world. You all are way to smart for your own good. Let us sly foxes and grinning cats have some fun every once in awhile ok.