Day 2

Something you feel strongly about

I dislike bullies in all forms. What do I mean by all forms, well I mean I am the type of person that if I see two or more people fighting I try not to interfer unless it see some *cough* injustice going on. Just as ganging up on or bringing out those delightful racial or sexiest or homophobic slurs. Then I will jump in and say something. Though let’s say the person I am defending turns around and says something uncalled for, well I will call them out on it.

I am the type that in an argument I would apologize to the person I am arguing with if I or someone else said something extremely offensive.

To me that is what being a good person is. Standing up for what you believe in but also knowing when you are in the wrong.

I am passionate about *strikes hero pose* JUSTICE FOR ALL *dramatic music plays*

I will fight anyone over this, even those I love.

I think the problem with my age group and younger is that we extremely passionate about thinga but do not know when to quit or admit defeat. We want so much to be right that we do not try to learn for those we deem wrong. We are not willing to listen to anyone but ourselves. Even when we do take the time to learn we only truly pay attention to those views that align with our own.

So many groups and communities are changing and many not for the better. The are becoming more secluded and filled with hate because no one is willing to actually listen. We show empathy for our own kind till they express traits like are similar to those we hate and then we abandon them.

Calling them all types of phobics and haters.

It is disgusting really.

I am passionate about the truth. Passionate about knowledge and growing.

And above all else

*dramatic pose and music one more*

JUSTICE!!!

*head falls as it rains and the shadow of the broken town in live in stands tall in tbe background…music fades…scene turns to black*

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Tomorrow

Today I do not really feel good. My depression is getting to me. I can not leave my house unless someone actually makes me leave. I can’t say no to invite no matter how much I want to.

I sit and struggle to stay awake. Sleeping forever seems like such a good idea right now.

I get so frustrated….so angry with just about everything.

My daughter was singing today and it felt as though she was scrapping her nails against a chalkboard. Not to say she couldn’t sing but the sound. The fact that she was happy and singing made me so mad. I had to leave the room. I apologized for telling her to stop. No! Not telling, I freaking yelled for her to stop.

She got so upset so I apologized, but the anger was still there.

I had to leave the room for a bit. I didn’t go back for maybe 30 mins or more. Just hid in my room and cried.

I am doing this all on my own. I have friends but I can’t feel it. Like there is a void that is stopping me from accepting the fact that people…Care

It hurts. I know that it is there and it hurts. I hate myself for feeling this way, but who can I talk to? I feel as though I am being judged all the time. So who can I talk to? Who can really help me understand that things are not what they seem.

My?

Maybe…

Honestly I am just going through the motions.

Wading through this until it ends. That is all I can do. So I do it.

I am ever grateful for the people who put up with me regardless.

Oblivious

Cold seeps in from the uncovered window pane.

Twisting through the exposed bones of those long forgotten souls

Nearby mice shiver with clear anticipation

Hoping that the chill will bring more for them to nibble on

A body saunters near, head of fire, eyes of coal

Trying in vain to stay warm

Looks into the window and overlooks the mice

Thinks that this is a safe place to stay the night

Enter through the doorway that was once nailed shut.

Takes a moment to do it due to it being frozen and locked

Mice scatter behind broken furniture wondering

Can’t it see the blood

Drop Dead Reader

There is a whisper in the wind that tells of an old friend. Someone who is missed above all else. Silent and unseen, the words tumble to and fro. Going ignored by those who are meant to see.

Dearest Reader,

I am a work in progress. I allow my world to rule me. I allow the actions of others to decide my fate. This is something I have always done, it is all I really know.

I try my hardest to change but I just keep making excuses to stay the same. For that I deeply sorry. Dearest reader I will not promise to change, because I know that at this moment I can’t, but I do promise to get better. To be better than all of this.

I want to write stories that change the world. And I can, I just need to change myself first.

So here I go. A step in a direction I do not know. Wish me luck dearest reader. I will need it.

Love and Protect

Please have mercy on me

My heart is broken from abuse

Take care to hold it close

Never trust it to another soul.

Please have mercy on me

I no longer know how to love

Hold me close and

tell me that I can saved

Tell me that things will be ok.

Be there for me when I crash

Be there for me when I can’t see through the past.

I promise to be there for you in turn

but for now

Take mercy on me

I do not know if I can do this once more.

I can’t remember the last time my heart was whole.

It has been broken by so many before

Take care to not give it to another soul

They may tear it apart before your return

I wonder what it feels like to love

Hold me close and save me from the pain

Please be there for me when I am to blind to see.

I promise to always be there for you

To cherish and hold

To comfort and love

To please and protect

Just please have mercy on me

And I will show you just how I could be.

Ask and answer

I often ask myself silly questions I would not dare bring up to anyone else.

Thing that make me blush or smile. Things that make me cry awhile.

I ask myself these things because they help me feel alive.

For awhile I have the will to survive.

What kind of future will she have?

Will I be there or will I be dead?

How can I make her happy?

How will she feel if I hold her on my lap, even when she is 20?

I ask myself because I can.

I ask myself so that I may continue till the end.